GeoPorn
by Sharper Lee
Summary: Does not contain actual porn. Two little Meteos people decide to have a look at Porn. There is no sexy stuff, just a bit of harmless innuendo. Oneoff. I don't know why i did this either. but its funny!


Hello everyone I was bored one day so i decided to do a really random story about Porn in the Meteos world. This is it. It is very random so beware! Notes: I do not swear this much in real life. Apologies fanfiction people i am very bad. yersh i am. This does not contain actual porn. I do not own windows media player, meteos or any meteos related things, talking computers, or pamela anderson.

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One day a Geolitian was in an office in the Metamo Ark. He was alone, and working. He had a very boring job- he had to work out the chemicals inside Meteos. Meteos were a resource and they had to find out exactly what they did.

So this little Geolitian was bored because he had a very boring job. So he decided to be a very rebellious person.

"Ho ho ho!" he said to the room, "No-one else is as rebellious as me!"

He logged onto the internet, and into Google. He typed in "Porn"

That's right, Porn!

Oh wasn't this a BAD Meteos person.

So he found a good porn site (he knew it was good. It had naughty words. Like tea) and he opened a picture.

"OMG WHAT THE FUCK!"

Knock Knock Knock

"DON'T COME IN!" he shouted. But it was too late. Another Geolitian came in. His name was Andy (I forgot to say the other one is called Randy see they rhyme so it's funny)

"Whatcha dooooin?" He shouted.

"Nothin..." he said, turning the screen away.

"You gotta be doing something or else you would die."Andy said smartly.

"Shut the FUCK UP! I hate it when people say that." Randy shouted.

Andy peered around at the screen, "Oh my god you are looking at porn!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!" Andy shouted, "Oh yuck put it away."

Randy clicked the X and it dissapeared.

"Phew." Andy said. After a few seconds he said, "Put it on again."

Randy did.

"OMG you can see her PIXELS!" Andy shouted

"I know!" Randy said excitedly.

"But look at the size of them!"

"I know!" Randy said excitedly.

"Put on another one!"

Randy put on another one, "Hey this is a video."

"Oh my god what the fuck is she doing?" Andy yelled

"I don't know. You see I can't really see it because I havent got the good Windows media player."

"Yeah." Andy said, his eyes darting back and forth, "But what COULD she be doing?"

There was silence for a moment, and then the two boys went, "Aaaaaaahhhhhh!"

"Get a good WMP!"

So they went on the WMP site and said download. That didnt work so thay clicked it instead.

"Aw maaaan." Andy said, "This is as slow as a PSP."

"I know." Randy said sadly.

So the two boys were left in a room with no porn on their computer, in which time they talked about porn. They were on "Well I like it like this." And showing each other, when the computer went ding and said download complete. They said thank you but it didnt say anything back so they thought it wasnt a very nice computer.

So the computer said, "I WILL NOT GIVE YOU PORN UNLESS YOU SAY I AM NICE." Well it acutally came up ERROR 404 so they apologised and it seemed to work-the computer did a sudden full system reboot for them.

"Aw thats nice." Said Andy.

So while it rebooted they talked about porn-again. When the computer started to go ding DING ding..ding...ding..., which means it had started, they went on their porn site again. They got the video going.

"What the hell!"

"I've never done it like that."

"OMG"

"Ohhhhhh yeah i want that in mine"

"In your what."

"In my THIS!"

The two boys relaxed after a good nights porning. They were in porn heaven and all they could think about was porn.

DINGALINGALINGALING!

"emergency emergency!" A huge megaphone had suddenly come out of nowhere and started yelling at the boys; "All geolitians to the bridge immediately! We are under attack by meteo! And for god's sake, Andy and Randy, get off the fucking porn!"

Everyone in the ship heard this, and they all laughed like this , "harharharharharharhar." Because that is how Geolitians laugh.

All the geolitians including Randy and Andy ran to the bridge. Once they reached there, they saw the Meteos coming down. The Meteos were coming down on the Metamo Ark like crazy, but no other Geolitians seemed to be trying to arrange them. They just stared at them, hypnotised. Andy and Randy were wondering why, and came closer to the shielded bridge window thing. Only then did they see what was wrong.

The Meteos were contorting into Geolitian shapes. But they were contorting into NAKED GEOLITIAN SHAPES. The Male Geolitians on the Ark all were wolf whistleing and not paying any attention, and the Female Geolitians were all Ooh la la-ing and not paying attention. Andy and Randy were shocked.

"Ohh noo. Too many Pixels. I can't look."

"Don't look. You'll get hypnotised like the others."

The others suddenly turned and stared at them and groaned, "Yoouuuuuu caaaauuusssedd thiisssssss! Youuuu mussssst stooooopppp iiiiittttttt."

The boys screamed. The ship was blowing up. They hugged each other, shaking,afraid.

"Heeeelllllpppp usssssss!" The people groaned.

But Andy and Randy knew it was no good. The ship was exploding.

"I love you Andy" Randy yelled

"I love you Randy." Andy yelled.

BOOOOOM

Randy woke up. He was sleeping at his desk. Andy lay beside him, snoring. They must have dozed off after looking at the porn.

"Phew." Randy said to the room. "It was allllllll a dreeeaaammmm."

But then, an axe smashed a hole through the door. And he could see a female Geolitan with her pixels out. And she screamed, "Here's Pammy!"

"aaaaaaaaaghghhhh"

The End

Do not watch porn or you too will be hit by geolitian shaped meteos blocks.


End file.
